How To Find a Wife (or a Husband)

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels."

Proverbs 31:10

The counsel I am going to give now is the counsel I wish I had when I went out looking for a wife. In spite of my errors and stumbling, God gave me a great wife. All I can do is praise His grace. This passage of scripture describes the excellent wife. My wife wrote more about the characteristics of this woman in this post. But in this post I want to give some advice on how to find this kind of wife. What I say about finding this excellent wife could also be said about finding the excellent husband. So ladies, don't tune out, just apply the principles to finding a godly man.

The first truth we learn is that finding an excellent wife is hard. It is not easy to find a wise wife. She is a rare women. Now here in these verse this wise woman is a perfect wife. No one will find her since no woman is perfect. But we are not looking for perfection but progression. Is this woman born again and is she growing in godliness? If you look for perfection, you will be a single man all your life. Yet a godly, but still sinful, woman is hard to find. Most women are foolish. Some are only average. Just because a woman goes to church or is baptized does not make her a wise lady. A real godly young woman is a rare treasure. If such a woman is hard to find, this means it will take effort and time to find her. Physical beauty is seen almost right away. Inner beauty takes time to come to the surface. You will need to take time to get to know her. You need to talk about faith, repentance, conversion, and salvation with her. Find out how her spiritual health is. Study the scriptures together. It is a good idea to ask her pastor or elders how they view this woman. Hopefully they would have had more time to study her and could give you an unbiased opinion.

Proverbs 19:14 says "House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord." Your search for a wise and prudent wife is bound to fail unless God blesses your desires. God can sovereignly lead you a wise woman. So pray! Ask God to guide your search. Pray that you may have wisdom and discernment to recognize a wise woman. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." Proverbs 18:22

The second truth we learn from our text is that it is worth all the time and effort to find a wise woman. An excellent, wise wife is more valuable than jewels or any bank account. She will be a crown to her husband, but a foolish wife brings rottenness to his bones. See Proverbs 12:4. A wise man will want a wise wife. She will be an encouragement to his spiritual life. She will help raise their children in the fear of the Lord. They will be able to serve the Lord together. Their house will be filled with grace and love. A foolish wife will destroy her husband. "It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman." Proverbs 21:19. You don't want to choose a wife based only on outward appearance. You will live to regret it when her ugly heart comes out. Money can't buy you a godly wife. It takes a work of grace in her heart to make such a wife and it takes the sovereignty of God to lead her to you. When you find a wise wife, realize how valuable she is. Protect her. Love her. Care for her. Praise God for her.

-Brad-