5) We need the body of Christ. 1 Corinthians 12. We were never meant to be lone rangers. God made us to need others. The help we received was magnificent. I often stood amazed at the care, kindness and sacrifice of people. Without the help of many people we would have crashed and burned. Some people changed their schedules or denied themselves so they could help us.We are a very individualistic society. But that is not God's design. Lone rangers are dead rangers. We need God's people. This trial gave us a very vivid example of this truth.
6) I learned to be more compassionate and understanding to others in trials. I also saw how often I failed in the past to show compassion to others in trials. Through the variety of experiences over the last few months I can better sympathize with others. I can understand better the trials of my wife at home or of single dads and moms. I can better understand the sorrows and challenges of widows and those who lose a child. This trial made me more aware of the trials of others. I hope then that what I have learned can help me to be better at comforting and caring for others in their trials. "...God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3b-4
7) I learned to drive in the city. I hate cities and I hate driving in them. But I learned to drive better in traffic. I can't say I like cities or driving there, but it isn't so scary as it was.
8) Giving words of encouragement is a skill that takes effort and time to learn. "A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word." Proverbs 15:23 "Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances." Proverbs 25:11 Especially early in this trial, I often thought about what we ought to say to someone going through a tough time. Often I would get very worldly encouragement. One time a person's 'encouragement' seemed more like a discouragement to me in how and what was said. People can ask how you are doing but they seem to expect a short answer and don't really wait for you to explain. It is hard to know what to say to someone going through a hard trial. One needs great wisdom to say the right word at the right time. A couple things I have learned is this: If you ask someone how they are doing, say it tenderly and listen for an answer. Sympathizing with someone is important. If you don't know what to say, the best thing you can say is 'How can I help you" or 'I will pray for you' or better yet pray with the person. Often people don't need a theology lecture when they are suffering but giving a hug would be just fine. It would be good if we took time to think about what we should say to a suffering Christian or unbeliever before the time comes around.
9) Just because God promises to strengthen us in our trials doesn't mean we won't be almost crushed under the load. There were times in my trial that I felt strong in the Lord's strength. And there were times I felt crushed under the pressure of the trial. I believe God does this for two reasons. One, to show us that we need Him because we are so weak without His help. Second, to develop our spiritual muscles. By going through difficult trials we will find that we are able to handle more and more in God's strength and even that lesser trials do not crush as they used to.
10) I am more thankful for technology like cell phones, even through I find such things frustrating. I bought a cell phone soon after Fenna went into the hospital so I could keep in touch. It was a blessing to us to be able to text, phone or video chat. It made the distance between us smaller.
11) I appreciate my wife more. I have learned how important she is to our family. I knew that before this all began but now we know it in a whole other way.
12) In the beginning of this trial, many people came up to me to ask how my wife was or how things were going in the trial. I appreciated that. But I got tired of talking about our difficulties and just wanted to talk about normal things. Our trial was the subject of every conversation on Sundays. Often I didn't want to talk about how things were. And even if I wanted to, it would take too long to tell someone how things really were. I liked the attention and hated it. Maybe what I learned from this is that trials are complicated and it can be hard to help someone in need.
13) I learned more about my kids. I enjoyed getting to know my kids more, especially the youngest. It wasn't easy taking care of them, but there were some really good moments with them.
14) I learned again that as hard as our trials are, we always deserve worse. We are guilty sinners who deserve nothing good and only horrors. But God is a God of grace. He can turn our sufferings for our good because of Jesus Christ. I am thankful for His grace. I am thankful for what I have learned and continue to learn. I can't complain at all for all that God has brought me through. He was there with me in the storm. Even when I sinned during the trial, He was gracious to me and forgave me when I repented. All glory be to God.
15) Lastly, I learned that I still have to learn much about suffering and trials. This trial was hard but there are much greater trials. I still have a lot to learn and there is still much room to grow.
Brad
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